Sources have confirmed that there is a highly contagious breakout of herpes, an STD circulating the JV Bulldog football team. A group of experts was brought in and apparently the only cause of a breakout this big is a mega orgy between the teammates. The boys locker room is said to be a “hotbed” of disease. You must take the necessary precautions against the disease if you wish to remain herpie free. That means no physical skin to skin contact, bodily fluid exchange, and even looking at these poor men infested with the herpies virus puts you and your family at risk. Coaches have been spotted wearing medical masks and reportedly “not touching the players with a ten foot pole” Stay safe Ramona, and stay far away from the JV Bulldogs.